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Updated: Dec 15, 2020

Foreword: This piece is my response to one of my darkest days mentally. How overwhelmingly confusing and numbing it scared I how someone beyond special to me literally saved my life. It's a confusing read, it's a mirror of feeling completely lost and alone, despite being loved. This is a difficult one to share. Men and mental health problems go together like oil in water.

I wonder and I ponder Do you really see me? And I ponder as I wonder Do you even hear me?

As you stand in front of me As my wonder remains a ponder Would the glaze in your eyes crack? If I ponder you for longer?

Are you in wonder? Or are you confused by what I say? Do I speak in foreign tongue? As you ponder on my ways?

As I ponder on my wondering Of how I see me now

How did I even get to here? To strain my furrowed brow..

Trodden too far on one way path So far from the me I once was I didn't ask for this catastrophe Or is it just because?

So much deeper in my pond of wonder Than I thought I'd ever sink Trapped with chains around my legs Leading me closer to the brink..

Yet my ponder and my wonder Today shattered beyond belief With pieces of me on the floor You swept me back to me.

(©) Dom Giddy 2020

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