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Foreword: This piece is written about seeing the traumatic event of my brother being hit by a car in my childhood. And how the effects of this trauma has dramatically surfaced this year, how I look back on my 11 year old self and the devastating effect it had on me.

I'm surrounded by noise

Destroying my poise

As my mind disemploys

My soul discarded like a child's unloved toys

Trodden and trampled by my own white noise

On the surface the smoke still surrounds

Like a hooded cloak of hate and spite

Clinging on for decades blocking out the light

World stood still when your scream filled the air

My universe ground to a halt leaving me standing there

Broken shards of myself fell never to be found

As you lay there shattered into a million pieces on the ground

Flicker on repeat, click on rewind like an old projector

Whirring so loudly in my ears with dust scratches on the screen

Too young for this 18 rated movie, where was my protector? Left unseen

Left me with those who wanted to care

When all I wanted was for you to be there

To never leave me behind though you had to go

I sat alone and watched my rivers of tears flow.


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